musings of an aspiring actress.

likes: poodles. fashion. paul newman. new york city. food. dreaming big. alcohol. handsome gentlemen. travel. big high heels. owls. whiskey, duh.
#spiritanimal #zsazsagabor #pinkpoodle 🐩

#spiritanimal #zsazsagabor #pinkpoodle 🐩

It literally hurts my heart to leave today. I love my city, my people, my puppy and my wonderful parents. It was an amazing weekend but I’ll see you in 2 months NY. 

xo

It literally hurts my heart to leave today. I love my city, my people, my puppy and my wonderful parents. It was an amazing weekend but I’ll see you in 2 months NY.

xo

The Mean Reds

  • Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
  • Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
  • Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
  • Paul Varjak: Sure.
  • Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!
  • Sunday night blues. And I don't even have a big girl job to worry about.
Apparently even Bowie had to tend bar.

Apparently even Bowie had to tend bar.

The L.A. Chronicles. Part three??

Hello there. Frankly, I’m a little tired of the whole “Oh, hey! It’s been a while.”, so let’s skip that whole thing. Here’s what we haven’t discussed:

1. I’m officially a Los Angelino (is that right?). The apartment is beautiful and I’ve learned that I’m basically a budget-minded Nate Berkus (maybe that’s point 1.5).

2. I am currently unemployed (although I currently have some leads).

3. After 9 months of working towards getting a freelance commercial agent, I am agent-less. That’s what happens when you decide to move cross-country, I suppose.

4. My daily existence no longer involves seeing my parents or the notorious fuzzy baby :( (That’s so sad it deserved the dreaded emoticon)

5. I live with a boy. Yes, I am cohabiting with MS. If only the old, 23 year old Ashley could’ve seen me now. I think she’d be proud… and confused.

6. I have a car! My very first, leased on my own credit car! It’s awesome!

Now, while none of these are bad (Except #4. #4 makes me really sad. Again, note the emoticon), and are actually quite exciting, I guess this is why I haven’t updated in so long. I’ve learned a couple of essential things about myself through all of this though. Let’s take a look, shall we?

1. I have major anxiety. A couple of real-deal panic attacks and some Xanex’s later, I’ve discovered this.

2. I am actually, and incredibly surprisingly, stronger than I had every previously thought. There have been a number of times through all of the moving prep that I didn’t even think I’d be able to leave my family. I’ve done it. Maybe I haven’t done it totally on my own, and I have MS as a crutch in a way, but I’m here, and I’m working on it, and I didn’t let the fear stop me.

3. I have decent enough credit to lease my own car!!!

So that’s all. My anxiety-ridden self has spent 2 days writing this damn blog entry, for God sake. I’ll update again this week with any progress.

xo

The L.A. Chronicles. Part deux (I think)

Oh hey. Fancy meeting you here. Ready for a quick month in review? Ooooookay…. GO!

The play went off pretty much without a hitch. I made all of my money back and I even made a teeny profit and paid my people what was made. L.A. is definitely happening and it looks like it’ll be happening in July. It’s been decided that MS is coming with (which I guess now makes any past reference of him in the blog slightly more significant).

That was quick, huh?

I’m heading to L.A. tomorrow morning to find our new little place. Once again I’m learning ANOTHER lesson in letting go of control and chilling out. I’ll be there looking at neighborhoods, etc. and considering that the last time I had to find a place was my senior year of college, I’m a little nervous— no credit (really) and no real rental history.

Anyway, I’m sure it will be fine and it’s only a year in place. I want to walk in some charming little garden apartment, feel that “aaahhhh” feeling, apply and call it ours. It can’t be that hard… right?

Wish me luck! xo

Search
Navigate
Archive

Text, photographs, quotes, links, conversations, audio and visual material preserved for future reference.

Likes

A handpicked medley of inspirations, musings, obsessions and things of general interest.